Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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