Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
