Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
