this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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