I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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