I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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