I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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