We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
