These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
