Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
