I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
