Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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