Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
