She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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