I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just pee around me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
