i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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