can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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