Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
