I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
this is an emotional support booty call
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
