You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
