i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.