Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.