it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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