I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize