better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
