I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
