my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
