Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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