Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
