Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
