I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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