WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
smell my finger.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
