i will never coherently bang her
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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