He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
