I have demons in me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
