dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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