He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
