you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
