Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
