The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
