I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
