sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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