yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
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Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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