YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
