my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
