if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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