yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
