i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
