I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
