And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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