I murdered the dance floor call the cops
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
