the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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