Sry I called you an 8
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
