I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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