you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
