okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
